Top tips for school interview success

Exam season for entry to senior schools is looming – and some interviews might be scheduled sooner than you expected this side of Christmas. To help make sure your child feels fully prepared and bounces into the interview room radiating confidence, we bring you some top tips on how to make the senior school interview process as seamless and anxiety-free as possible.

The interview is just one part of the journey to finding the school that is right for your child – a place where they will receive a good education, but more importantly a place where they will thrive. Happy children make good learners.

Although the school interview may seem daunting, it’s important to remember that our goal as parents is for our children to be relaxed and to be themselves. The interview helps the schools get behind the reports and test results and really get to know your son or daughter. This helps them decide whether the school is a good fit and it’s that good fit that we are looking for too. Our job is to prepare our children to be as relaxed and genuine as possible as they sit down to chat.

There are several practical things that we can do to set our children up to have an enjoyable and successful day.

The first thing is to remember that this is not an Oxbridge interview. Most schools are not looking to grill our children – but rather to find the things that enthuse them and make them light up. They want to see the real person.

Here are our five tips to help you prepare your child so they feel relaxed and comfortable just being themselves:

1. Do your homework together

Familiarity is comforting. There are many great resources that can help you and your child to have a feeling for the school even before you set foot through the door. Have a look around the website and chat through the things that spark an interest. You may have already been on an open day, but a school’s website provides an ideal opportunity to have another leisurely explore and then discuss the most exciting bits together – perhaps the cricket pitch looks amazing, there’s a huge art room or the dorms look superbly cosy. Let your child take the lead – it helps them remember, gets them on board and gets them enthused.

What does the headmistress or headmaster look like? Many school websites have a video of the head welcoming you to their school. This could be a chance to hear their voice and see their face again, to get familiar, before meeting them or one of the other teachers. Check out our latest 10 Questions video, where we get heads to tell us their favourite joke or reveal their go-to karaoke song. Yes, they’re human too!

2. Know your child

The preparation will depend on your child. You are the expert and as the goal is to find the best school for your individual child, thinking hard about how your son or daughter might respond to the environment includes the interview as well. For example, if they are slow to warm up, it might be more important to take plenty of time to practise how things might go than if you have an extrovert who loves nothing more than speaking to adults. Or, are they sensitive? Might they find the experience intimidating? Do they find it hard to talk about themselves? Will they be worried about giving the ‘right’ answer?

It is completely normal to feel nervous. Start by acknowledging their emotions: ‘I imagine that you might be feeling a little nervous about your interview. I get that it can seem a bit scary wondering what you might be asked.’ ‘Did you know that that feeling of butterflies in your tummy is the adrenaline in your body that makes you more ready and alert?’

Listen and let them do the talking. Sharing feelings is the first step to working through them and having an empathetic listener is important. We want to send the message that all emotions are OK, even though our children might be worried about feeling worried. We are not worried! Feeling understood helps then move through the anxiety and they can then put their energy and thoughts into what they would like to say instead.

We want to set our children up so that they have the greatest chance of success. We are not putting words in their mouths or telling them exactly what to say, but we are being understanding and helping them think through things and get themselves prepared so they can be their best relaxed and genuine selves. If they have talked through some ideas in advance, they are more likely to remember things – and be less inclined to freeze.

3. Have a chat

Most prep and pre-prep schools do a brilliant job of warming prospective pupils up for the interview and there are things we as parents can do as well. Schools say that they pick up on youngsters who have been heavily coached. It’s very clear when interests are not genuine – be it sports, books, horticulture or politics. Instead, we can discuss things with our children – it’s about getting prepared and anticipating rather than leaving it to the last minute and hoping that it will all go well.

As much as we can, we want to get our children engaging their brains as it helps reduce anxiety and cements their thoughts as their own: ‘What do you think they might ask you about if they are trying to get to know you a little bit?’ ‘Yes… they might ask what you like doing outside of school or what books you read.’

Acknowledge their contribution, their effort and keep the conversation fun, interesting and positive. ‘So if I asked you who you would like to invite to supper, if it could be anyone in the world, who might you pick?’

One mother told us her son was happily asked by one housemaster about his favourite book. It transpired that Lord of the Rings was a favourite book for both of them and her reserved 10-year-old had an engaging chat about characters in Middle Earth. When the conversation turned to sport, it was less interesting but it was still genuine. Despite a discussion ahead of time, the first sport that came to mind – as he didn’t think about sport very often – was the kayak he had been on once the week before. ‘Kayaking’ he said, and that said it all.

4. Get practical

There are practical things that we can do that don’t leave things to chance – or to emotional debates on the morning of an interview.

Rehearse the handshake and work on making eye contact in the weeks before. Try a staring contest or shake hands and attempt to lean backwards while still holding on. If you make it fun and practise often, it's more likely to become a habit.

Choose the clothes in advance so you are not left ‘discussing’ why your son or daughter can’t wear certain shoes on the big day. If you think breakfast is contentious, decide the night before so that you avoid a struggle over whether you are having porridge or chocolate croissants.

Leave plenty of time. This is one moment to be a time realist and not a time optimist.

Leave aside any last-minute advice and set a relaxed and positive tone. Perhaps some fun music in the car will help you keep any anxiety that you are feeling to yourself.

And afterwards, don’t forget the thank you note. A great habit for children to get into – and a lovely chance to remind the school about the fun conversation they had about Bernie the Labrador or why they love singing.

And finally,

5. Think about the message you are sending:

Children are expert mind readers. They have an amazing ability to pick up on our worries and anxieties. We may feel that there is a lot riding on the interview and having made it over the first few hurdles, perhaps there is.

Beware of being overheard: ‘I am so excited that we have an interview at x.’ ‘It’s such a big day and I just hope she does well in the interview.’ We should think carefully about putting too much pressure on our children. It’s all about finding the right school for our unique child rather than the one we went to or perhaps more often, the one that we wished we had been to!

We want to model an approach that we hope our children will follow. Be calm, relaxed, honest and hopeful. They have an opportunity. They may be disappointed, but it will not be the end of the world. They’ll give it their best shot and if it doesn’t work out then we’ll try a different path. All will be well and we will be here with our guidance and love.

Our children need to feel our faith and our trust that they will do the best that they can, with gentle preparation and our support, and that is all we can ask.

Good luck - and have fun!

Top tips for school interview success

TE Schools Advice